About Me
Year of Birth: 1997 (I don't celebrate my birthday)
Gender Labels: Nonbinary, Transgender, Feminine
Pronouns: No pronouns preferred (they/them is fine)
Orientation: Aroace-spectrum but it's complicated
Name: ...That's also complicated lol
I never liked my birth name, even before I knew I was trans. I picked a new legal name with the goal of blending into cisgender society, so I don't really identify with it these days either. Ever since my Neopets account from 2008, I've gone by Espetrell online. It was originally the name of a childhood OC, but because it's so unique (aka I made it up), it's never been taken on any website. It's become who I am in online spaces (and occasionally even IRL).
Inspirations
This part of my About Me got so long that I felt compelled to split it into its own page. Click here to read a list of my narrative inspirations.
Okay, But Who Am I Really?
Do my labels really make me who I am? I've struggled a lot with dissociative amnesia, and it's hard for me to construct a coherent sense of identity. I've continually reinvented myself over the years, added and subtracted labels several times over, and had to do some serious thinking on who I want to be.
Am I the things I like? Obviously, my biggest passions are writing and drawing. I like to read comics and books. I like to play video games (or, more often, watch other people play them). I also like to take nature walks, organize my digital and physical possessions, learn about the languages used by computers and by my fellow humans, sew practical things that I can use every day, and more. I got really into jigsaw puzzles for a couple weeks. This is the kind of biographical information that you see listed in dating profiles and About Me pages, but it doesn't feel like an accurate portrayal of the person I am either.
The way I see it, I am what I make. The stories I create are an unique product of who I am, a culmination of everything I've experienced.
My real About Me is the rest of this site. If you're curious to know who I am, read my work. It's how I found out who I was too.